He thought I was beautiful...

Today for some reason I picked up my high school yearbooks and decided to look through them. There I was. Sitting on my bedroom floor with four large books that in some way held the past four years of my life. Somethings I want to remember. Others I'd rather not. And then there are those times I wished I did remember...but somehow those memories have become lost.

I ran my fingers acrossed their covers. Somehow I thought these books would mean more to me after I graduated...I was wrong.

Removing my senior yearbook from the pile, I slid it under my bed.

That was the year I would rather forget.

Then I opened my freshmen yearbook and began to read the notes my old classmates had written to me.

"Have a nice summer."

"See you next year."

"Keep in touch."

Lies lies lies....

Because I didn't have a nice summer....and you moved without notice....and you forgot my name when I passed you in the halls that following september.

I turned the page.

James Mendoza. That was his name. The most unique and interesting person I had ever met. He was my bestfriend that year. We met unexpectedly in our French class. He was a senior, and I was just a freshmen. He had black spiked hair with faded bleach blonde tips. Tall....very tall and skinny. I remember he had bad skin. But what teenage boy didn't. He was a skateboarder which is probably the reason I found him so interesting. I had a starge fasination with skateboarding for a period of about three years. I remember he would bring his board to class everyday and rest his feet on it under his desk...rolling it back and forth...back in forth across the tile.

He wasn't an attractive person. But there was something about him that drew you to him. His smile was so giving. And he always had an interesting story to tell. That is why I liked him so much. I remember we used to play tic tac toe during class when we were suppose to be studing our verbs. He made it a habit to give me a hug everyday when he came in the door. That is what I looked forward to. We would talk about everything. Family problems, relationships, dreams, friends....everything. He was the only one I could tell anything too.

As the year went on I came to the bitter realization that he wasn't going to be there to share my sophmore year with me. He had signed up for the military. And after graduation he would leave. He always told me that he was going to come back for me when I was a senior. And we would run off together. I would always laugh at his silly comments. But it was always nice to hear.

To him, I was beautiful. I know this because he told me everyday. He told me that when he left that we would never lose touch. He promised to write letters and visit when he was on leave. I took comfort in his promises because to me, he was my best friend. Someone I didn't want to lose.

I remember the last day of school when he signed my yearbook. I made it a point for him to b the first one to sign it. He sat for almost an hour with my yearbook in front of him and a pen in hand. He said he was thinking of the perfect thing to write...


I just wish I were a freshmen too. That way we could spend

three more years together. I wish you the best. You are beautiful Krystle.

Never forget me. I will come back for you.

Your friend forever,

James Mendoza

P.S. Skaters rule. Remember that.

After graduation I didn't hear much from him. I got two letters. And one visit early my sophmore year when he snuck on campus to see me.

I never saw him again.

I still think about him all the time. Especially during the last few months of school. I still waited for him to come back for me like he said he would.

But he didn't.

Sometimes I wonder if he still remembers me.

I miss you James...

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