It's going to be a cold night...
8:58 p.m. | 2004-12-15
I’m in a weird mood tonight…
One of those nostalgic, laying on the floor with the lights off wishing I weren’t out of sleeping pills kind of night…
I feel like crying for no particular reason
I’m so disgusted with myself in every single little way
I met this girl named Angel back in January 2004.
She sat next to me in my critical thinking class. We’d chat and talk about the assignments and what not; she was just the first person I’ve met in college that I clicked with…
To my surprise she was in my Anatomy class this semester too. It was nice to see a familiar face everyday. We’d work together, talk about our weekends, our boyfriends, the crazy stuff that happened to us the day before, whatever. I felt close to her. And often times I couldn’t wait to go to class the next day just to talk to her because she always made me laugh.
Today was our final exam.
When I was finished with my exam I got up to leave. I placed my exam and booklet on the front desk in front of my teacher and turned for the door. That’s when it hit me that I wasn’t going to see Angel everyday anymore.
I stopped in my tracks and looked back at her sitting next to my empty seat.
I just wanted to give her a hug or say goodbye or anything but I couldn’t just interrupt the exam…
So I just left.
This is her last semester. So I know there is no chance of her accidentally being in another one of my classes next semester. I feel like I’ve just completely lost the only friend I had…
It makes me sad…
It makes me sad that I never got her phone number, her email, or her address…
And now she’s just gone.
Tyler told me last night that all of his friends are uncomfortable around me because they feel I’m intimidating…
I’ve never tried to be, and I’ve never really thought of myself as being intimidating, but seeing as how I really don’t have any friends, it’s starting to make sense…
It just makes sense…