The days are longer when he's gone...
8:24 p.m. | 2005-01-10
I watched him press his hand against the passenger side window. Two fingers and a thumb pressed against the glass in the sign of love. His warm skin left an imprint on the cold frosted window. The rain fell, and as I drove away I watched his image fade in my rearview mirror.
I don’t know when he’ll be back.
He’s not sure either.
Work, or rather the lack of money took him away to Arizona to work with a friend of his fathers.
No warning. No preparation. Just one phone call on Saturday afternoon and he was gone by Sunday morning.
We haven’t been away from each other for more than 24 hours in the past year and a half.
It’s only Monday, and already I don’t know what to do with myself.
But it’s tomorrow I fear.
I wish I could fall asleep tonight and wake up sometime Wednesday…
Tomorrow is our anniversary.
The one day that comes once a year and I’m spending it alone…
My plan is to do nothing tomorrow. I’m calling in sick to work, I canceled my long awaited doctors appointment and I’m only going to school for one class that will be out by 11am. The rest of my day will be spent laying in bed, watching movies, and perhaps a few margaritas.
I feel miserable.
I feel like I’m half a person.
Sound crazy?
I know. It sounds absurd to me too, but I’ll never be able to explain what it is about him that makes me loose myself.
He’s not just some guy I’m dating; he’s not just a boyfriend. He’s my best friend. He’s the boy I fell in love with 8 year ago while I walked quietly behind him down the halls of our high school, just wishing he’d turn around…
Because of him, I know what unconditional love is.
I slipped a letter and a picture of us in his bag.
On the envelope I wrote “Tuesday”…
Happy Anniversary to me…