The Day I was Saved...
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My Way Home
Isn�t it funny how one day can change your entire life forever? I never knew how much I was missing in my life until that day came. And all it took was one person who cared about me more then I ever expected. Through him I learned what it was like to have hope. Have joy. And have a new life I didn�t know I could have ever been without.
I was woken up that Sunday morning by the phone. It was God. He told me to get my butt up and get to church. Ok, actually it was my friend Greg but basically he was relaying the message. Greg had been on my butt for months to go to church. I just always made up excuses when Sunday mornings came. I didn�t think that church was right for me after the things I�ve done. I was a fan of Jack Daniel and my tongue had trouble controlling itself when I became angry. My sex-life, ahem�. was still non-existent, for the most part. But I wasn�t exactly pure and innocent. I guess I had just always had this mindset of what Christians were like. I just always saw them as �Perfect People.� People that didn�t make mistakes or do evil things. I knew I wasn�t like them. I wasn�t good enough fro Gods love.
But Greg knew of how unhappy I was. And how depression took hold of most of my life. After high school, the friends that said they would be there forever had trouble with my name when I passed them in the produce isle at the grocery store. The boyfriend who said he would love me forever decided to change his mind after two years. And my baby sister had just recently been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Everything seemed to be closing in on me. I lost all motivation. I didn�t start college in the fall like I was suppose to. I started working as much as I could, just to keep myself busy. I didn�t want to think about my life. About my problems. I was in a dark hole that consumed me. I was lost. Just wanting to go home�
Greg was the one I always turned to. My friend, councilor, and manager at work, he still made time to help me. Often times he would turn our conversation to the Bible. He always made comparisons to my life and God�s promises. It made me think. But I had been lost and hopeless for so long. Nothing really made sense to me.
He often invited me to church functions. He would talk about his friends and all the fun they had together. Even thought I had never been religious, he thought I would enjoy the experience if I just gave God a chance. His opinion, �What do you have to lose?� He made a rather good point.
I had told him the night before that I would be at church, but I was just so tired I didn�t really feel like getting up. And I probably wouldn�t have if he hadn�t called me. I don�t know why, but instead of just making up some excuse, I just got up and got ready. Now most of the time I am very shy and nervous about being places I�m not used to or around people I don�t know. I try my best to completely avoid those situations. But that morning when I pulled up into the church parking lot, I didn�t feel nervous at all. I didn�t feel like pulling back out and driving away. I didn�t feel that bottomless pit feeling that I usually got in my stomach when I�m in new situations. Slowly, I got out of my truck and smoothed my clothes. Shutting the door, my face caught the reflection of the side window. I looked at myself. Studying my face. What was I doing here? I thought to myself. Looking past myself in the reflection, I gazed up at the big white church that stood behind me. Turning around, I made my way through the parking lot towards the side door where all the people gathered to make their way inside. I stood behind the crowd, slowly etching forward. I kept my head down. Trying to avoid eye contact with anyone around me. When I reached the door a little old man on my right side shook my hand and handed me a small book of folded papers. �Good morning!� he said to me smiling. I looked at his wrinkled face. I smiled back.
Stepping inside, I gazed up at the massive building I found myself in. I was in awe of its beauty. Tall, and lively it stood with people moving about within it. Pictures and plaques hung on the back wall, and tall flags and garlands lined the sidewalls. A few men scurried around up in the balcony above, fixing lights and cameras. I turned slightly and looked towards the stage. To the left stood the choir stands. To the right, a drum set, piano, keyboard, and guitar. And in front is where the clear podium stood with a glass of water resting on top. There was a big screen high up on the wall, and slightly under it was a large window that caged a pool of water. (For baptizing, I later discovered.) Two staircases led down to the stage from both sides of the building. Garlands and plants lined the back of the stage and the staircases. Small, white lights decorated them. Illuminating them with a warm presence. Everything was colorful, lively, and bright. I felt warm. Safe. Welcomed.
I remember where Greg told me to sit, and I walked over there and sat down. It was in the third row on the left hand side. This is where Greg and all his friends sat every Sunday. Putting down my purse, I opened up the pack of papers I was given and began to read through them. Inside I found a list of songs that were to be sung, and a paper with fill-ins on it. There was a list of church happenings and a note to first time visitors. As I read through the papers, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Startled I turned around and came face to face with Greg. He smiled at me �Sweet, you came!� he said still grinning.
Soon after all his friends came in and sat around me. They all shook my hand and introduced themselves. Some of the girls gave me hugs. How strange this all was. Why were these people that didn�t even know me, being so nice. I felt so welcome. Something I never expected.
As the service started, we all stood and sang together. The church filled with our voices. The words appeared over the big screen. By the second chorus I was singing along, clapping to the beat. As the service began I found myself so drawn in by the message Pastor Kallap was preaching. He talked about how no one was out of reach of God�s love. All someone had to do was believe and they would be rewarded with an awesome life. He spoke of how a woman in the Bible who was a prostitute was forgiven by Jesus. People spoke of how wrong it was of Jesus to forgive her. They believed she wasn�t good enough to be forgiven. But Jesus said that no one should speak ill of her who has sinned themselves.
I remembered everything Greg had talked to me about. How if I just let God into my heart I could be so much happier. To tell you the truth, before I met Greg I had never really thought about God. My parents aren�t religious, so I had never been exposed to any of it. All I knew was that my life over all wasn�t one I was happy with. And I did want a change.
I cried. I cried harder then I think I ever had. For once in my life everything was making sense. I took in Pastor�s every word. Hungry for more information. I closed my eyes and turned my face towards the huge stained glass windows. The sun shined through them. Down on me. I felt peace.
Towards the end of the service, Pastor asked us all to stand. Then he asked anyone who wanted to accept God as his or her savior to just come forward. I closed my eyes and felt this chill run down my body. Greg touch my arm and whispered in my ear, �Do you want to go?� he asked. I looked into his eyes. I stayed quiet. Then he asked me again. This time I shook my head yes. He nudged me forward. And I hesitated out of nervousness. That is when he took my hand. �I�ll go with you,� he said. �I won�t leave you.� I looked up and into his bright blue eyes. �Promise?� I asked. �Promise.� He replied.
As we walked forward he took me to Tina, the youth Pastor�s wife. She shook my hand and smiled her warm smile. We went up the stairs on the side of the church and into this little room. The three of us sat in a circle and she asked if there was something I wanted to talk about. I told her that this was my first time at church. She told me that it was wonderful that I had come. Greg began to read me these passages out of his Bible. Explaining each one as he went. I thought about my life and all the things I wished were different. I had never ever had faith in anything in my entire life. I�ve never felt the way I did when I walked in to the church, and I had never met so many nice, interesting people in my life. I thought about all the things Greg said would change when I accepted God. What did I have to lose? I started to cry again. But it was a good cry. Tina smiled and handed me a tissue. Then she asked me what my decision was. I told her I wanted salvation. We prayed.
After, Tina congratulated me. Greg told me that October 28th would forever be my spiritual birthday. When we walked back down stairs everyone�s smiling faces met me. Everyone hugged and congratulated me. Jarett, Matt, Bernie, Brian G, Ashley, Brandon, Mike, Aaron, Heather, Lisa, Crystal T, Krystal H, Audrey, Justin, Jenn, Mary, John, Christy, Tim, Chris, Lily, Jeff, Brian M, Travis�
I looked around for Greg. And that is when he came up behind me. He didn�t say anything. Just smiled. �Thank you Greg. I wouldn�t even be here if it wasn�t for you.� He smiled. When I walked out of the church I knew that everything was different now. I was not the same person who walked into that church no more than an hour and a half ago. I�ve always heard about how being saved changes how you feel but I never knew how much until I experienced it for myself. It was a good day.
Now, months later, I find myself not the person I once was. I have hope now. How wonderful it is to be able to say that. I have faith. Faith in a promise God made to each and every one of us. I am happy. Happy that I have a reason to wake up in the morning. Happy that I have friends that I know will continue to help me grow as a Christian. And now I realized that it wasn�t by chance that Greg and I met. It was God. God brought Greg to me for that specific reason. He used Greg as a pipeline to my heart. I know now that my life has meaning and everything happens for a reason. I have a specific job that God wants me to do in my life. And I can only hope that along the way, I can help someone the way Greg has helped me. I will forever be thankful for that. And even though it has only been a few short months, I�ve learned more now then I have ever learned before. I have found my way home.
It was a good day.