Thoughts on a foggy winter's night....
10:59 p.m. | 2003-01-19
I think I need a change of scenery.
Everything is starting to look faded and gray here.
I thought about all this tonight while I was on break at work. I laid in my truck and watched the fog come in. I thought about all the people I could really count on.
My sister would give me the world if she could. It�s amazing how devoted someone could be to a sibling when most of their lives have been spent in arguments and petty fights.
She had surgery the other day.
An hour after she got out of the operating room she called me to see if I had eaten yet that day.
I told her yes.
It was a lie.
She had enough to worry about.
No one has ever watched out for me like she does.
I love Lisa.
She understands me.
She gets me.
She knows what it�s like to be human.
I�ve been on her side of things. She�s been on mine.
I tell her things I�m too afraid to tell anyone else.
I�m glad I have her�.
That�s it.
That�s all�
If everything came down to it I have two people that I know would be there.
Other people say they�d be there but they wouldn�t.
They haven�t been.
If they did they would know by now that he left me two weeks ago�
They would know that I don�t sleep at night anymore.
That I�ve forgotten how to eat.
They would pick up the phone just to see how I am.
What I have been up to.
But they don�t.
They just give me one arm hugs on Sundays.
Turn me away on Wednesdays.
They would know that I�m falling.
But instead they stay wrapped up in themselves.
I�m a little lonely here�
But sometimes loneliness is better than solace without any meaning behind it�.