I want to go back to bed and stay there forever cause only bad things happen when I try to live a normal life....
9:09 p.m. | 2003-06-17
Good LORD I�m glad my sisters graduated all damn ready!
I thought I was going to die before it came. Especially since the ceremony was yesterday and I almost killed myself trying to get all the crap done for the honky tonk family reunion we were going to have afterwards in the back yard�
We ate hot dogs�
I�ve never felt so ghetto�
And my mother wondered why I didn�t invite anyone over.
My dad put me in charge of grocery shopping, buying new plastic lawn chairs from HOME DEPOT, getting ice, making dips, and setting up the decorations my grandmother bought�.aaaaannnnnndddd I was instructed to go down to the stadium an hour early just to get seats�
So I got up at 8 and started going crazy.
I was hoping Elias would come over and help me since he said he was going to come to the graduation but his bastard ass was nowhere to be found.
I swear, he is NEVER around when you are in dire need of his assistance. I don�t care if I need eyeliner applied or a kidney transplant, he is ALWAYS missing in action�
Jlsdfjewpoirsfg�.
And do you know that there isn�t ONE COMPETENT employee that works at that damn hardware store�
Not one.
Here I am� tiny, all dressed up, in heels, and apparently not as capable as I thought to carry 12 lawn chairs all by myself�
And of course all the chairs were stacked 30 high OUTSIDE the freakin store. After walking around for 5 minutes trying to find someone to help me bring them in I decided to just do it myself�
I must have looked like a complete jackass�
I had my purse flung over my back, my hair was blowing like a tornado was coming, my boobs were falling out of my shirt and the only sound in the entire place was the screeching of the chairs as I dragged them across the floor�
I seriously did not give a crap.
Finally a nice gentleman who had finished his purchase pushed his basket aside and helped me carry the chairs to the check stand.
I thanked him kindly and scowled at the stupid employee who stood idly by�
And if there is not one thing I hate besides the lack of assistance in hardware stores it�s the creepy male customers that always seem to stare�
I mean, granted I was all goddess looking and stuff but still�
After I paid it was time to figure out how to get the chairs to my truck�
I was so frustrated, hot and irritated that I was about to scream my head off�
And I probably would have if it where for another nice gentlemen who rushed across the parking lot to my aide�
He asked if I needed help carrying the chairs, and since I�m not one of those power trippin females who would rather look stupid then ask for a mans help, I said yes and pointed to the truck�
I mean I don�t like men, but carrying things and doing hard labor are what they are good for�
I thanked him gratefully, and now I was on my way to get ice and finish the last little big of shopping I needed to do�
You know, it�s just my luck that they would be out of the little bags of ice and only have the MONSTER KING SIZE bags that weigh more than me�
Ugh�
So there I was trying to lift this human sized bag of ice into my cart as the damn cart decides it�s going to roll away from me�
I tried to put my foot out to stop it but my heel got caught on the rack and I couldn�t even stand up straight let alone stop an escaping basket�
With one mighty swoop of my arms I flung the ice over my shoulder and into the basket�
Well, the basket stop rolling�
I had ice everywhere�
But it had stopped rolling�
I finished loading the ice, got the rest of the crap I needed and headed for the truck�
I piled all the junk in and was so thankful to be on my way home�
Until I GOT THE MOST MASSIVE NOSE BLEED IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY!!!!
I swear, I was hemorrhaging from my nose and about ready to pass out�
aaaannnndddd there was traffic�
I made it home okay but couldn�t do anything but lay on the bathroom floor with toilet paper jammed in my nostrils for a good 30 minutes�
And it�s only 2pm�
If this is a sign of how the rest of this day is going to turn out I�m just going to go back to bed and congratulate my sister when she comes home later�
Oh�
And the best part�
My grandmother couldn�t find any graduation decorations�
So she bought 4th of July ones instead�
So basically Uncle Sam is hanging from the patio outside�
Right above the American Flag covered table cloth�
Next to the bags of ice currently melting because I can�t find where my dad hid the ice chests�
Today is like a really bad Chevy Chase movie�