To Ashley....
12:13 a.m. | 2003-06-30
Sometimes, I don�t say the most important things enough. I think that just might be one of my biggest flaws�amongst many.
I think sometimes I concentrate so much on the bad that I overlook the good�
I�ve been doing that a lot lately�
I think I should start to count my blessings. Because taking them for granted just doesn�t seem so sweet anymore.
I love Ashley so much.
She is my best friend, and I know that I probably wouldn�t be alive if God had never of brought her to me.
It�s funny, cause I�ve known many people over the years that I�ve made the mistake of calling a best friend.
Or even a friend for that matter.
But each one has faded away through lies, deceit, betrayal, or distance.
Truth is, I�ve never had a best friend until Ashley.
She is my rock. She is my safety. She is whom I strive to be like because her strength and willpower surpass anything I�ve ever seen. She has energy and a love for life and God that I only dream of. She is so beautiful�
I know that sometimes I write things in here that she would otherwise wish I had left out. Such as the time I wrote about her bowel movements, or the time she took a swan dive in the parking lot trying to jump over a bush and I was too busy laughing to help her crippled butt up�
Yeah that was fun�
But I know that no matter what I might say, or write. Or what I might do that she would otherwise advise against, she will always be there when I need her.
It is impossible to count just how many times she has picked me up when I�ve lost track of things in life.
She never says, �I told you so.�
Even though she so easily could.
She knows me. And she knows what to do and how to react to every aspect about me. She knows that when I�m mad or irritated, that stepping back and giving me space is the best thing to do. She knows that I don�t like to be pushed, and that I�ll come around when I�m ready too.
She knows that I�m not perfect, and that sometimes my past gets the best of me and I don�t always act like the Christian I should.
She doesn�t judge.
She knows I�m still learning.
I�ve seen Ashley change so much in the short time I�ve known her. I�ve watched her grow and mature and learn life�s hard lessons. I�ve watched her battle love lost. I�ve watched her learn to live with being homeless. I�ve watched her become her mother�s backbone while she lay bedridden with Cancer. I�ve watched her deal with being completely broke, and still have a smile on her face�
She never once complained or felt sorry for herself�
THAT is Faith my friends�
I know that sometimes I feel that I�m not as important in her life as I once was. If that assumption is at all true, it is my own fault entirely. These last seven months have been complete hell for me. And I�ve pushed her away the whole time. It�s amazing at how much boys can ruin�
Sometimes Ashley can be very absent minded, and a little self-centered and I don�t think she well ever fully �get� me and all the weird things I do. I think that sometimes she talks about Brian too much, and even though it might get on my nerves every once in awhile, I cannot deny the fact that I would probably be the same way if God ever brought me someone as wonderful as Brian�
They deserve each other�
I really don�t know where this entry is coming from. I guess I just miss her tonight. It�s so hard not seeing her as much as I used to. There once was a time when we were inseparable. Where she was, I was and day after day each other�s company was enough to make the day worth wild.
She is the most comfort I�ve ever had.
Vanilla.
Her signature scent is all that it takes to calm me�and I don�t care how annoying her voice and laugh might be, I wouldn�t have it any other way�
I love her completely, fully, flaws and all�
I would do anything for her, and give her the world if I could because I know she deserves it.
And without a doubt, I know that in 60 years when we are old and gray and our scents of vanilla and pears have faded away to smells of Ben-Gay and formaldehyde�we will still be together, rockin� out to New Found Glory and Switchfoot�
And I could not ask for more�
As iron sharpens iron, and friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 27:17
