Another misadventure and a really bad drawing of me that actually looks like me which is kind of depressing...
10:01 p.m. | 2003-09-20

I have absolutely no words to describe last night, other than it was the best and worst adventure Elias and I have ever been on.

Now if you know the two of us, or read our diaries you can easily see that we spend waaay too much time together doing stupid stuff out of sheer boredom.

One of our favorite things to do is drive around to unfamiliar places really late at night.

We don’t intentionally plan to make fools of ourselves, it just kind of ends up that way when Elias is behind the wheel.

So okay…

I pick up Elias from work last night at around 11pm, and being the wonderful person he is, he had a Starbucks Passion Tea Lemonade for me in one hand and his balled up apron in the other.

He gets in, curses me for being late, hands me my drink, I kiss his face, and we begin to drive off. We are half way home when he lets me know that he really doesn’t want to go home cause his dad had a “friend” over and he was sure they were making sex.

“Lets go driving!” he propositioned with enthusiasm.

“OKAY!” I replied cause frankly, it beats the hell out of sitting at home.

I took Elias home really quick to change his clothes and let his sister know where he was going. I hopped into the passenger seat of my truck and when he returned with his Sean Paul CD and his digital camera, we were off…

“Lets go down to Melrose and Rodeo Drive!!” he suggested.

I haven’t been there in awhile so I said fine.

I am the absolute worse person at directions and driving so I was sure since Elias suggested this area of town that he would know how to get us there and get us back safely.

I assume too much.

Well, we got there okay. In less than ten minutes, we exited the freeway on to Melrose and began cruising down this infamous boulevard.

When we got to all the pretty stores, Elias’s eyes began to glaze over and my truck started to weave to the right.

“Look Baby, Look!” he demanded.

“Elias, watch the road!...Elias slow down!!!...Elias that light is yellow!!!” I seriously couldn’t even look around since I was too busy making sure we didn’t die.

When it comes to fashion, models, famous designers, or anything of that sort, Elias is all over it.

Somehow, we got off Melrose and ended up on another street. Then another. Then another, and after a few minutes I was completely lost. I was hoping Elias knew where he was going but he was so busy looking at everything around us and searching for everything else that he didn’t even care that he had no idea where we were.

I was starting to get a little upset.

We ended up on Wilshire blvd. and again, the stores called to him. He made me take pictures of the pretty lit up store signs of Barney’s New York, Armani and Versace.

I swear, I felt like damn tourist.

When you live in Southern Cali, you just don’t take pictures of things that are in your surrounding area for no reason.

That’s when things got crazy.

We were completely lost and after Elias turned right against a red light at the same time a killer bus was crossing the intersection, I freaked out. He ended up turning down a one way street the wrong way. When we realized the arrows on the street were pointing in the opposite way in which we were driving and there were headlights coming at us, Elias busted a U-turn and we got the shit out of there.

We were laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe.

All he kept saying was, “baby, don’t laugh! You love me!”

No, I don’t love him.

Not when he almost makes me die.

By this time we were ready to just go home. We started driving down Wilshire, and Elias insured me that he knew exactly where we were…

Me: Baby, are we lost?

Elias: no

Me: so you know where we are?

Elias: bitch, shut up and hold my hand…


We somehow ended up in downtown Los Angeles. I only know this because of the huge buildings and the bums on every corner.

Then we saw Jesus.

Or at least it was a bum that resembled Jesus. (Hey, Malinkaa, you sure this guy doesn’t get around?)

He came up to the driver’s side window, gazed in at Elias and pointed at his palm…

Elias about crapped on himself. He was so scared he began vigorously shaking his head no and reached over to check to see if the door was locked.

We spent the next 15 minutes driving in circles trying to find a freeway onramp. Of course, it wouldn’t have been 15 minutes if Elias would have listened to me for once. I clearly pointed out which way the freeways signs were pointing but instead he insisted I was wrong.


We made it home by around 1:30am.

None of the pictures we took turned out normal.

But it’s okay cause we had fun.

He wrote his version of this story in his diary so go read it.

In other news…

Elias decided to draw a picture of me. I should have never let him try. He is such an excellent artist, but instead of drawing me realistically, he thought he’d draw a cartoon version…

This was the finished product…

I'm ugly.

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