He's so cute when he farts and flips me off....
11:30 p.m. | 2003-11-30
8:30am�
That is the time I thought was an appropriate time to wake up seeing as how we didn�t fall asleep until 1am and it did just happened to be a Friday night. I didn�t have to be to work early, he didn�t have to be to work early, and so I imagined me getting a good 7 and half hours sleep would be the perfect end to my already shitty week�
But Tyler wasn�t havin� it.
6:45am, his ass was wide-awake tossing and turning trying desperately to see if I was awake too�
Well I wasn�t.
I WAS asleep�
Until 6:46 when he sat up abruptly and announced that he just �couldn�t sleep anymore.�
This is when I reached across and grabbed the remote off of the nightstand, reached behind me and handed it to him, then reached under the covers and patted his crotch basically indicating he had two choices to occupy his time until it was 8:30.
And if there was nothing on TV he had better not get anything on my new flannel sheets�
Needless to say I wasn�t able to sleep any longer�
By 7:20 he was up and bouncing around my room like a moron�
This would have led to a crappy morning if it weren�t for the beautiful everlasting rumble that came from the depths of his bowels that made me fall in love with him all over again�
As he stood to put his pants on he stopped as a mischievous smile crossed his face�
�Watch this,� he stated. And with that came the biggest, loudest, nastiest fart that would have easily made fat bastard proud.
I laughed.
And got up to get dressed.
He was hungry, wanted Starbucks, and wanted to go to Target to get something or other.
First stop was Starbucks were I ended up staying in the truck.
Once he came back with his coffee he was desperate to tell me about the girl inside who was flirting with him�
Ya see, Tyler has this compulsive habit of trying to get reactions out of me.
It�s his joy in life, and when I appear to be jealous for any reason related to him, it makes his day.
I humor the boy, really.
God knows I couldn�t care less about the little 17-year-old high school girl working at Starbucks who got all giddy when Tyler walked in.
But since his self-esteem suffers and he basically has no confidence in himself, I do my best to boost it when I can.
�What girl!� I demanded to know. �She better put her eye balls back in her head!�
I seriously deserve an Oscar for my acting skills.
Next stop was Target.
�Are you going to sit in the car again?� he asked.
�Nah, I�ll go in this time,� I replied. �But I wouldn�t want to cramp your style. I would hate for any hot girls to think I was your girlfriend or something.�
Double dose of confidence can�t hurt�
�No, it�s okay.� He responded. �All the girls I would want are still sleeping right now. Hot girls don�t get up this early.�
This is when I shot him the �you-better-save-yourself-from-that-comment-before-I-knock-out-your-teeth-look��
�Uh, I mean,� he stuttered. �I forced you out of bed, so you don�t count.�
Cute.
Of course he wasn�t saying that last night when we were�uh�um�
Playing Monopoly.
Yea.
Monopoly rules!
But you know what else rules�
Bad Santa.
That movie was the freakin� shit.
In other news�
Tyler got a new cell phone.
I swear he�s like a little kid with a new toy�
The worst part is it�s a camera phone so all he does is go around snapping pictures. His uncle was playing with it when he first got it an took this picture of Tyler as he was talking to me on the house phone�
Now brace yourself everyone. You are about to see the first ever picture of Tyler posted anywhere on this diary�
You ready?
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awww�
Ain�t he cuuuute??!!!