my thoughts and theories about Love...
12:12 p.m. | 2004-01-17
I think it might have been the fight we just had over the break up of two of our friends. Or maybe this has been eating away at me and I just haven�t let it come to the surface until now, but regardless of what has brought me to my computer to get this all out, I�d like to enlighten all of you with my thoughts and theories about Love.
I believe you can only be in true love once.
Only once.
One true love for your entire life and no exceptions.
(Of course when I say this I�m speaking in terms of significant others and no other type of love.)
The bible says:
�Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand it�s own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.�
1 Corinth 13:4-7
Even if you don�t believe in God or read the bible, you must admit that this is a pretty good definition of what love should be like.
In addition to believing that you can only be in true love once, I firmly believe that when you are in true love, it lasts forever. Period.
No matter if there is distance, time, breakups, death or whatever else that might separate two people, love, if true, love with always be there.
Today one of Tyler and my good friends (who I�ll call Steve) broke up with his significant other of about 3+ years.
Steve is a good guy at heart, but he�s never been that great at keeping himself to his girlfriend. Although he repeatedly admits that he �loves� his girlfriend, he�s also repeatedly cheated and messed around on her.
She in turn does the same thing to him, but lets him know it.
In all honestly, this relationship probably isn�t one of the healthiest and quite frankly I�m not surprised it ended.
Tyler feels extremely sorry for Steve and got upset at me for not feeling the same way.
�How can you call Steve your friend, but be so cold hearted about the breakup?�
These are more or less the words Tyler said to me in the midst of our argument.
I don�t believe you can be in true love and cheat.
I don�t understand how someone can say they are in love with someone but yet have the ability to be intimate with someone else while the relationship is still in process.
I don�t understand how Steve could have cheated on his girl numerous times with numerous people and expect me to feel sorry for him when she leaves him�
Tyler says I just don�t get it.
He says he knows exactly how Steve feels because it�s happened to him, minus the cheating.
Oh please.
Everyone has been broken up with, and I�m sorry if I can�t squeeze out a few tears when it happens to one of my unfaithful friends.
But this is where it turns from Steve�s situation to my own�
I am in love.
I have been in love for years now.
I know it�s true love because it�s something that even over time and distance, it never faded.
I am in love with Tyler.
Tyler is in love too�
Just not with me�
After Tyler and I broke up our senior year, he dated this other girl who I shall call Mary.
Tyler loves Mary.
Mary and Tyler broke up close to a year ago�
Now I�m back with Tyler�
And even though I know Tyler cares for me, I�m faced with the fact that no matter how long Tyler and I stay together, he will never be able to love me.
He can�t love me, because based on my own belief of what love is, he has/is already experienced/experiencing it with Mary�
So here I am.
Stuck in my own beliefs with a boyfriend who can never love me.
And my question to myself is this�
Will I be able to stay with the person I love, when I know in my heart that that person can never love me?
Will I be capable of that?
Is being with the person I love enough? And if so, which I�m almost certain it is�just how often will it bother me to know that I�ll never be able to say that someone loves me?
I know Tyler cares for me, and I guess if he can�t be with the person he loves, he can at least be with the person that loves him�
I want to stay with Tyler and I want to make us work�
And I guess in the end, that�s all that matters�
I�m tired now�.