It's going to be a cold night...
8:58 p.m. | 2004-12-15
I�m in a weird mood tonight�
One of those nostalgic, laying on the floor with the lights off wishing I weren�t out of sleeping pills kind of night�
I feel like crying for no particular reason
I�m so disgusted with myself in every single little way
I met this girl named Angel back in January 2004.
She sat next to me in my critical thinking class. We�d chat and talk about the assignments and what not; she was just the first person I�ve met in college that I clicked with�
To my surprise she was in my Anatomy class this semester too. It was nice to see a familiar face everyday. We�d work together, talk about our weekends, our boyfriends, the crazy stuff that happened to us the day before, whatever. I felt close to her. And often times I couldn�t wait to go to class the next day just to talk to her because she always made me laugh.
Today was our final exam.
When I was finished with my exam I got up to leave. I placed my exam and booklet on the front desk in front of my teacher and turned for the door. That�s when it hit me that I wasn�t going to see Angel everyday anymore.
I stopped in my tracks and looked back at her sitting next to my empty seat.
I just wanted to give her a hug or say goodbye or anything but I couldn�t just interrupt the exam�
So I just left.
This is her last semester. So I know there is no chance of her accidentally being in another one of my classes next semester. I feel like I�ve just completely lost the only friend I had�
It makes me sad�
It makes me sad that I never got her phone number, her email, or her address�
And now she�s just gone.
Tyler told me last night that all of his friends are uncomfortable around me because they feel I�m intimidating�
I�ve never tried to be, and I�ve never really thought of myself as being intimidating, but seeing as how I really don�t have any friends, it�s starting to make sense�
It just makes sense�