Merry Christmas, Assholes...
3:15 p.m. | 2006-12-24
I was sick again with the flu last week so I dug my dad�s old Vick�s Vaporizer out of the closet because he told me it would help clear my sinuses�
It�s this big plastic container that comes with this magical potion and when you put the potion in water and let it steam it makes the boogers go away�
All my dad said was that the steam would fog my windows and mirrors, which I thought was a small price to pay for the ability to breathe�
What he did not tell me was that the steam would make the plaster on my ceiling cave in�.
Cause it did.
Above my head.
Whilst�I slept.
And then today I had to run to three different drug stores to try and find my grandmother this weird extension thing that goes on top of the toilet so she doesn�t have to bend as far to shit�
I finally found the damn thing and I decided that while I was there I might as well invest in a bottle of vodka since it�s Christmas eve and well, my mother drives me crazy�
When I got up to the counter to pay the guy only charged me for the toilet extender thing�
I got a free bottle of vodka!
And I didn�t have to show him my boob or anything!
Joyous!