Next time I'll just get a burger...
5:10 p.m. | 2007-03-19
So I'm at subway�
Not because I like subway or anything, just mainly because my dad handed me a twenty and said he was hungry.
My dad wanted a six-inch tuna on wheat with provolone cheese...and he wanted it TOASTED...
When I said that to the retard behind the counter, she looked at me all cross-eyed and asked me if I was sure...
I inform her that I was very sure.
She responded with, �Well, I've never done that before..."
*awkward silence*
"Won't that like, mess it up?" she asked in a ghetto, ignorance tone of voice.
"Ever heard of a tuna melt?" I asked.
She giggled nervously...
so she sticks the sandwich in the toaster oven and proceeds to stare at me the entire minute it's toasting...
when the buzzer dings, she pulls it out and says with a laugh... "it's smells like tuna!"
THEN
I order my sandwich...turkey with lettuce tomato pickles and olives...
LETTUCE TOMATO PICKLES AND OLIVES...
I can see her repeat those four items in her head silently to herself....mainly because her lips were moving...
she puts the lettuce on the sandwich...then the tomato...and she stops...
"uh, what else?"
THEN!
I'm finally ready to pay and I saw all the delicious cookies that were sitting next to the cash register...
I see the double chocolate chip cookies...
That�s a CHOCOLATE COOKIE WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS
so I ask for three double chocolate chip cookies, which is EXACTLY what the little label on the cookie case said...
she starts pointing randomly to every type of cookie in the case...
so I say again...
the double chocolate chip cookies...
she grabs a chocolate chip...and I tell her no, the DOUBLE chocolate chips...then I just point to them...and not just point, because I knew that wasn't going to do it...I pressed my index finger so hard against the plastic cookies case that my finger joints were turning white...
finally...she grabs the cookie I wanted...and says...
"oh, why didn't you just say the brown one?"
The moral of the story is that Goldy can't even buy a sandwich without wanting to shoot people..