Goldy And Eli weren't impressed with the VMA's....
12:02 p.m. | 2003-08-29
DANG IT!!!
Last night Elias came over and we were getting ready to watch the VMA�s when we realized we had a whole half hour before they were going to start.
I was hella hungry and Elias wanted to run to the craft store to buy colored thread to make himself a bracelet so we decided to get that done and be back in time for the awards�
When we got back and sat down in front of the TV, me with my big juicy barbeque hamburger and Elias with his string, I was completely sure we hadn�t missed that much�
That is�UNTIL I GOT ONLINE THIS MORNING!!!!!!
I can�t believe I missed Britney and Madonna make out!!!
Ugh!
Man, that would have been great. But I�m sure MTV will be playing the awards over and over again for the next two weeks so I�m sure I�ll catch it sooner or later�
And can someone please tell Christina she looks like a crack whore.
I don�t care what anyone says she looked so much better blonde and skinny. And I�ve noticed she isn�t wearing those outfits that show her midriff anymore�
Good dang thing�
Ewe.
Lets see what else�
Besides the fact that I would so go les if I had the chance with one of the Olsen twins, everything else about the show pretty much sucked donkey butt�
I was completely unaware that Justin Timberlake, 50 cent, Eminem, and Beyonce were the only artists this year that did anything�
By the end of the show I was so insanely bored with those four yahoo�s winning everything that I had resorted to laying backwards on the couch staring at my feet while holding the end of Elias�s bracelet as he continued to weave together the rest of it�
And NEWS FLASH to Beyonce�
There is a difference between a WEAVE and a RATS NEST�
And what was that green pimp thing following Poop Dogg around all night?
Did you notice how Chris Rock didn�t make any jokes about 50 Cent either�
It�s cause he didn�t want to get shot.
Or at least that was Elias�s conclusion�
And I bet you didn�t know Missy Elliot was a golf caddy on the side.
Someone needs to tell her that just because she lost weight doesn�t give her the excuse to dress like a Mongoloid�
And I�m sorry�
I�m sure Coldplay is a great band and all, but I always have the urge to drown myself after I hear one of their songs�
Kinda like how I feel whenever I see Ricky Martin shake his bon bon�
It�s just wrong.
And I seriously thought Johnny Cash was dead.
When they announced his nomination for BEST MALE VIDEO I was dumbfounded�
And then when they showed a clip from his video I was disgusted�
That is one old wrinkly man.
That was about it.
When it was over Elias looked over at me and asked why we didn�t watch �Queer Eye For A Straight Guy� instead�
I just don�t know�